008 | Trust: How We Build, Break, and Build Again
Trust is the foundation of every meaningful relationship—whether with others or yourself. But trust is also fragile. It takes time to build, seconds to break, and significant effort to rebuild. In this episode, we explore the dynamics of trust: how it grows, why it sometimes fails, and what it takes to rebuild it stronger than before.
From understanding the emotional and biological underpinnings of trust to recognizing its role in personal and professional relationships, this episode offers insights and practical tools to help you navigate trust in all its forms.
Why This Episode Matters:
Trust isn’t just an emotional experience—it’s a practical tool for connection, growth, and healing. Whether you’re navigating challenges in your personal life or professional relationships, understanding how trust works can help you build stronger connections, lead with empathy, and approach life with greater confidence.
By the end of this episode, you’ll walk away with a clear understanding of trust’s dynamics, actionable steps to strengthen it, and insights to rebuild it when it’s been broken.
Key Themes and Takeaways:
- The Fragility of Trust:
Trust is a precious yet delicate part of any relationship. It thrives on mutual effort, reliability, and emotional safety but can be shattered by dishonesty, inconsistency, or unmet expectations. Whether in a personal or professional context, broken trust creates ripple effects that can be deeply painful and difficult to repair.
- The Reciprocity of Trust:
Trust isn’t one-sided—it’s a dynamic exchange that requires honesty, empathy, and follow-through from both parties. In relationships, it’s built through vulnerability and consistency. In the workplace, it relies on transparency, accountability, and creating a culture where people feel valued and supported.
- The Science of Trust:
Biologically, trust is tied to the release of oxytocin, a hormone associated with bonding and connection. This explains why shared experiences, eye contact, and physical touch can deepen trust. Understanding this biological foundation highlights the importance of creating positive interactions to strengthen trust.
- Attachment Theory and Trust:
Our early relationships, particularly with caregivers, shape how we experience and build trust. Attachment theory identifies four main attachment styles:
- Secure Attachment: Trust comes naturally when caregivers are reliable and consistent.
- Ambivalent Attachment: Inconsistent caregiving leads to anxiety and distrust.
- Avoidant Attachment: Harmful or neglectful caregiving creates a reluctance to depend on others.
- Disorganized Attachment: Confusing caregiving leads to contradictory trust behaviors.
While early experiences play a role, they don’t define us. With awareness and effort, we can rewrite patterns of mistrust and create healthier relationships.
- Psychological Safety in the Workplace:
Trust at work isn’t just about interpersonal relationships—it’s about creating an environment where people feel psychologically safe. This means fostering a culture where individuals can take risks, express ideas, and fail without fear of judgment or retaliation. Psychological safety is essential for collaboration, innovation, and team effectiveness.
- The Journey of Rebuilding Trust:
Rebuilding trust, whether with yourself or others, requires vulnerability, patience, and consistent effort. Key steps include:
- Acknowledging what went wrong.
- Offering genuine accountability and apologies.
- Demonstrating change through consistent, trustworthy actions.
- Self-Trust as the Foundation:
Trust begins within. Without self-trust—the ability to rely on your own judgment and follow through on commitments—it’s challenging to build trust with others. Rebuilding self-trust involves:
- Keeping promises to yourself.
- Practicing self-compassion.
- Taking small, consistent steps to meet your needs.
- Practical Frameworks for Trust:
Two powerful models discussed in this episode are:
- The Trust Equation: Trust = (Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy) ÷ Self-Interest.
This equation highlights the importance of expertise, consistency, and emotional connection in building trust while minimizing self-serving actions.
- The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz:
- Be impeccable with your word.
- Don’t take things personally.
- Don’t make assumptions.
- Always do your best.
These principles can guide you in cultivating trust within yourself and your relationships.
- Reflection Questions:
To deepen your understanding of trust, consider these questions:
- How has your early life shaped your ability to trust?
- Can you recall a time when trust was broken? How did you respond?
- Do you trust yourself to follow through on commitments?
- What small actions can you take to strengthen trust in a specific relationship—or with yourself?
Mentioned in This Episode:
- The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
- Research on psychological safety by Amy Edmondson
- Attachment theory (John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth)
